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Non me la scorderò mai quella sera. Lontano dal lago

#gliesercizidicontame

Andare via era stata quasi una liberazione. Quella serata, la cena, i colleghi, le chiacchiere, il ristorante, la musica ed anche quei piatti raffinati … era stato tutto piacevole. Tutto …… fin quando, all’improvviso, come comparso dalle ombre del lago, era riemerso il ricordo di lui. Chissà dov’era in quel momento.
La stava pensando? O, ignaro, della sua nostalgia, stava vivendo tranquillamente la sua vita?
“Chi avrebbe mai immaginato che mi sarebbe mancato tanto” si disse tra sè
Provava quel piacevole dolore che solo la nostalgia d’amore può dare, quella sorta di contrizione dell’anima nella sensazione ansiosa della mancanza, dell’assenza, della lontananza. Eppure lo sentiva così vicino da potere, chiudendo gli occhi, addirittura percepirne l’odore e sentirne la risata. Una risata schietta. Provava quasi stizza in quel momento ad immaginarlo a ridere. Se rideva era contento e quindi non soffriva come lei in quel momento. Non l’amava? Forse!!! Oppure no. Quella era la sua risata! A lui piaceva ridere. Lui e le sue barzellette! Le scappò un sorriso pensando a quanto l’aveva fatto penare non ridendo alle sue battute. In fin dei conti era un buon diavolo e le era piaciuto subito. Compìto ma trasgressivo. Burlone ma serio. Brontolone ma bonaccione. Era un terremoto. Una valanga di attività, pensieri, desideri, hobby e passioni. L’aveva impaurita il primo giorno ma, il secondo, quella carezza che le aveva fatto rizzare la pelle d’oca era stata la chiave dell’innamoramento. Ma era veramente innamorata? Si può essere innamorati di uno sconosciuto solo per un sussulto dei sensi? No, doveva essere solo infatuazione …eppure… eppure le mancava. Le mancava la sua presenza. Sentire il suo braccio intorno alla vita e la sua mano calda sul fianco, una sensazione bellissima, inebriante.
La collega l’aveva guardata con uno strano atteggiamento interrogativo
“Lizzy, cos’hai? Sei preoccupata? Ti vedo così strana stasera!”.
“No, non è nulla” si era ripresa subito lei come uscendo da un sogno “ vorrei andare via. Mio figlio ormai è a casa e non vorrei si preoccupasse. Solo che qui le cose vanno per le lunghe”.
“Dai, non preoccuparti!! E’ già successo altre volte! Vedrai che lo troverai a chattare con qualche amico al PC”.
“Oh, sì sì…..sarà proprio così” aveva risposto lei svogliatamente. Distrattamente come chi ha voglia di tagliar corto. Certo è che in quel momento voleva andar via. Doveva allontanarsi dal lago. Erano stati lì, insieme, pochi giorni prima ed avevano fantasticato su un sogno che lui aveva fatto, prima di incontrarla, che li aveva visti coinvolti in una notte d’amore, in un posto molto simile a quel piccolo villaggio sulla costa. E di nuovo le tornava in mente la sua mano. Una mano calda sul fianco reso fresco dalla brezza del lago. Era la stessa brezza che c’era dopo cena e che tutti avvertivano ma solo lei percepiva in modo particolare. Aveva freddo ed il ricordo del suo calore era vivissimo. Vide due che si alzavano, dall’altra parte del tavolo. Stavano salutando. Stavano andando via. Non ci pensò due volte. Balzò in piedi e disse “Andate via? Posso avere un passaggio?” …Dopo pochi minuti era seduta, sul sedile posteriore dell’auto, sull’autostrada, di ritorno a casa.
I due parlottavano, davanti, ma lei era immersa nel suono dello stereo. Portò le mani alla nuca e chiuse gli occhi :

Dormire, pregare, la strada qual è
svegliarsi e pensare alla luce che c’è
un’altra stagione, un altro dubbio per me.

La canzone dei Nomadi sembrava fatta apposta per lei. Pensava a lui e quelle parole penetravano la mente e il cuore mentre dal vetro posteriore il ticchettio della pioggia completava la ritmica che in quel momento le accelerava piacevolmente i battiti del cuore.
Ora, lontana dal lago, era libera di pensare a lui, senza sentirsi coercizzata dal posto che con lui aveva visitato. E la sensazione d’amore esplose potente dal profondo. L’amava davvero quel uomo. Era lì ma si sentiva lontana, centinaia di chilometri, vicino a lui, abbracciata a lui con la sua mano calda sul fianco “Ohhhhhh amore mio!!” disse tra sè mentre si addormentava, cullata dal rollio dell’auto, avvolta nel calore delle parole di una canzone.

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    References:

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