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Atmosfera

“Io non risolvo i miei problemi,
cambio i miei pensieri
e i miei problemi si risolvono da soli”
Louise Hay

Quante volte ci siamo resi conto che il Natale era diventato sfrenato consumismo, che aveva perso il suo profondo valore religioso, per chi ha fede, o di riflessione, per chi non ne ha?
È vero però che l’atmosfera è importante.
Ho letto infatti che i film sul Natale, che negli scorsi anni venivano trasmessi a partire da Novembre, per quanto banali, sdolcinati e stucchevoli, smuovono a tutti qualcosa dentro. Perché mostrano il benessere e l’armonia familiare che vorremmo raggiungere, la sintonia nei legami con l’altro che vorremmo costruire, i buoni sentimenti che vorremmo provare. Rappresentano un desiderio collettivo.

Ieri, ad esempio, mi è capitato di cercare disperatamente tra gli scaffali del supermercato qualcosa che mi rianimasse, che mi facesse sentire, anche solo un po’, l’atmosfera natalizia.
Io, che non ho mai amato molto le festività e la malinconia che inevitabilmente portano con sé, desideravo proprio il calore che anche una candela può trasmettere.
Gli scaffali centrali, di solito a quest’epoca colmi di ninnoli e luci e giocattoli, erano vuoti.
Il supermercato stesso era praticamente deserto. Il silenzio regnava.
Lì per lì ho pensato che non c’era via di scampo, che nemmeno un gesto quotidiano come il fare la spesa riusciva più a darmi la sensazione di normalità, anche se per breve tempo.
Un certo nervosismo non voleva lasciarmi, non trovava sfogo.
Speravo dal giorno prima in almeno una passeggiata fuori città, una cioccolata calda, un sollievo qualsiasi. Ma poi ogni soluzione è risultata improponibile, non sono rimaste che la spesa ancora da fare e la pioggia.

L’abitudine dunque ha coinvolto anche me, che di norma non riesco a programmare niente e agisco spesso d’impulso. L’ abitudine ha reso più difficile adattarmi a situazioni nuove e diverse, e nemmeno me ne ero resa conto.

Come rialzarsi, come motivarsi?
Noi siamo i nostri pensieri: se li cambiamo, diamo un’altra direzione agli eventi.
È così, deve essere proprio così. Continuano a ripeterlo, gli esperti.
E allora i tentativi, che a volte riescono e a volte no.

Così, uscita attraverso la porta scorrevole del supermercato, ho considerato che forse questo è l’anno giusto per cercare finalmente dentro e non fuori di me l’atmosfera.
Che l’assenza degli addobbi e delle luci colorate, nel rispetto di chi soffre, o non c’è più, possono evitare di distrarmi, e aiutarmi a una consapevolezza maggiore su cosa voglio essere e diventare.
Ancora bagnata dalla solita pioggia, nuovi propositi, nuove occasioni.

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Un commento

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